The promise of time in a place or with a group of people makes it easy to procrastinate. Three years ago, I came to Grinnell and over the past three years there were so many things I have wanted to do and see but never got around to because I always told myself, “I’ve got four years”. That changed to three years, then two, and now one. I have one year left and there are so many things I still haven’t done. I would say I have taken my time at Grinnell for granted. I let three years pass and never really digested the fact that my time here is finite. And now I’m in denial about it.
Last year, most of my friends and I spent a semester abroad. Spending a semester off-campus was a great experience for me. I loved Amsterdam, I loved the people and I loved the person I became. There was a sense of urgency that came with the idea of studying abroad that made me want to seize the day, everyday. I went in expecting that I would have an intense and saturated experience that would change me for the better. And with that in mind, I consciously and subconsciously made that a reality for myself.
When I look back at my semester in Amsterdam, I obviously miss the place and the people, but I realise that what I miss most is how spontaneous and in the moment everything was. I made it a point to travel as much as I could, and see as many museums as I could, and absorb as much of the culture as I could. Why did that spontaneity and craving for adventure stop when I left?
I realise now that the whole mentality of studying abroad was very healthy for me. It pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and take a leap of faith basically every other day. It sounds strange when I think it but I want to experience my last year at Grinnell with the urgency and energy of a semester abroad.
I want to go to the llama farm, I want to see the pumpkin patch in the fall, I want to go to the Grinnell Historical Museum, I want to go ice skating in central park in the winter, I want to go to Adventure Land, I want to be a regular at Saints Rest, I want to do karaoke at Rabbits. I want to do it all.
It's easy to come up with excuses, and seemingly impossible to find time in our over scheduled lives. We feel the need to justify being spontaneous, which is quite bizarre when you think about it.
There shouldn't have to be a reason for wanting to make the most of everyday.
Meghna Ravishankar, sentimental and SUPER in denial.